you & i

Monday, March 31, 2008

@ 6:37 PM

drats!only 16hours left.how fast time flies? obviously, very veryy fast.im not sure if one week is just enough, or more than enough.but to me, its not enough.i need forever.hah.that is too much too ask for. *looked away*

f.u.c.k! when tomorrow comes, everything will stop.no more morning messages, talking on the phone till late night and all of that sort. lets just see what awaits us in the future.life have to go on anyway. *drop dead*

and guessed what? how miserable more can my life be.goodness.for some good reasons, the counsellor called today.and on top of that, its not my school counsellor.its some counsellor from god-knows-where.ass, just how many counsellor do i need? two, ten, thirty or fifty?im dying here and i keep having to go for counselling.i do appreciate people's help.but its all happening at the wrong time.im still not in the mood to share my problems with anybody.

ohh yes, except that i have one person in mind to share my problems with. and he is, mohamad azhar.i wonder why, but i felt relieved everytime my secrets or problems goes to him.but like i said in my post, everything will not be the same again when tomorrow comes.

and i seems to act weird today.usually as soon as i got back home from school, i would eat my lunch before rotting in front of the computer. but as for today, i just munch two or three snacks and at the same time sitting in front of the computer.i swear i dont know what changes my mood today.but somehow i think i know. maybe because of whats going to happen tomorrow? okey, forget about whats going to happen tomorrow morning.i still have to present myself in school. *cry*

Sunday, March 30, 2008

@ 8:35 PM

ohh dearr. i don't believe it. my drawing is super dull. and it is so the primary one drawing. boredom made me draw this, instead of completing my maths homework. shit. social studies test is this tuesday. or is it history test? errr.. fuck. im going to fail it again, for sure. Mrs Chan sure going to scream at me, i bet. because one thing for sure, i have not been performing well in her class. sometimes i felt that i have no more hope in everthing i do.

and im so loving this song. it does not reflect to anything in my life though. (maybe) [:
kan kutempuh segala cara
tuk sembuhkan rasa kecewa
ku belajar tuk berhenti mencintaimu
dan membunuh rasa ini

ajariku cara melupakanmu
agar ku tetap kuat tanpa pelukanmu
agar senantiasa kudapat jalani hidup tanpa cintamu
ajari aku rahasiamu

dulu kukira katamu sungguh
kan kita pelihara rasa cinta hingga akhir masa
ku belajar tuk menjaga dan saling percaya
namun kini tak berarti

Saturday, March 29, 2008

@ 3:15 PM

obviously, im feeling extremely bored being at home alone. i've been sitting in front of the computer ever since i got back from flag day. tell me, what should i do now? arrgghh..

every now and then, i've been having stomache early in the morning. binget seh. nih semue tersampok dektu lah. haha. or is it food poisoning? i dont know, and don't wish to know. hah.

and these past few days, i realised that i began to listen to dangdut more and more. laughs. maybe i'll work at club dangdut when i reach 20 eh? hah. sial jer.

what else? yeaa, many things were running through my mind right now. and im super upset about last night. anyway, its already past. might as well forget about it right? [:

i guessed that in life, sometimes we have to let go of something even if it is hard for us to do so. or maybe in the first place, it is not even meant for us. but if we let go, that does not mean that it will be gone forever. am i right? it may or may not return to us one day. no one knows. maybe it will be gone only for a while. but maybe it will be gone forever too. its all about fate.
ehh.. aper aku merepek nih? haha.

Friday, March 28, 2008

@ 7:13 PM

weee . look at the number on my t-shirt. :D

okay. my day yesterday was obviously not okay. many things happened. and the bad thing, i mean.

firstly, during physic lesson. i was referred to the counsellor. anyway, Mr Johnny Tan did not come.so, its okay as i did not miss any lesson. and of course, i was referred by Mrs Chan. maybe because she thinks i am not concentrating in class, and that i need someone to talk to.i really hate going for counselling.i really don't see the point of it. aahhh. whatever..

secondly, to that girl, or should i say bitch? you really spoiled my day. anyway, its your friend that im talking to and not you. kau nak tengok aku atas bawah asal? kau pikir kau dah lawar sangat pe sial? ehh, rambot kau dah berminyak buat hal rambut berminyak ah. asal kau kene tengok aku atas bawah sekarang? aku ade hutang kau pe sial? sundal nye pompan. kau mati cepat lagi bagos ahh. hidup pun tak gune.kau menyusahkan orang ajer. kau dah sah pompan pengecut, pompan jalanan. kau berani bebual depan ahh. chibai.

thirdly, why must we fight over small things? im already feeling dead dealing with all these problems. i don't ask much. i only want us to be happy, just like before. we only have four days left.and its such a short period of time. why waste our time fighting? you know what im like. i know when everytime we fight, im always the one at fault. im sorry for behaving this way. or rather, for showing my attitude. if you can make the effort to change, then i can too. we just need time. alot of time.

chibai. im so emotional. fuck. im really feeling dead.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

@ 4:02 PM

ohh myy. i suddenly felt weak and feeling dizzy just after the maths remedial ended. whats happening? but somehow, im okay the whole day in school. ~ prrfftt..

oh yes. fadhilah brought a sandwich to school today. and she shared it with us doing poa lesson. so kind of her, isn't it? anyway, there's only the seven of us in that class. so..

and today, i did not bring my social studies books. Mrs Chan really blow her top. i admit, i lied. i told her i accidentally bought the express one. and she made me buy the workbook because she wanted us to hand it in today. poof ! there goes my $1.40.

and yes, while i was eating just now. i suddenly thought of natasha. laughs. she really tickled our toe man. and on top of that, she got herself feeling paisey. serve you right, bitch. *evil laughter*

and not forgetting, i had late recess just now. Mrs Chan hold me back for almost ten minutes. yes, thank you for the lecture teacher. i really appreciate it. ~ohh, so not true. *roll eyes*

strangely but truthfully, i began to hate this few people in my school. they act big and they go around the school like one big fuck picking our fault. or rather, my fault. f**k you. okey, no offence.

however, i seemed to adore my poa teachoer alot. no, not adore as in im in love. for goodness sake, he is married. i just adore the way he teaches us. he is super fantastically patience with us. eventhough he is just a relief teacher, i do hope that he will continue to teach us till next year. best wishes.

Monday, March 24, 2008

@ 5:13 PM

currently listening to dangdut. i find this song hilarious. but i can't seem to upload it here somehow. wonder why.

anyway, its getting darker and darker now. and i assumed that its going to rain soon. just the perfect time to be with the loved ones. ~ohhh how sweet.. *roll eyes*

okey, basically my karangan was only halfway done. believed it or not, im only at paragraph one when the fact is that i started doing it at 4plus. now is 5.24. buck up lah siol.

boom! salty betol mulut aku. now it has started raining. and im feeling extremely cold. too bad, i dont have any cardigen or jacket to cover me up. brrrr..

and today, a few things just got me on my nerves. okey never mind. lets not talk about it.

perhaps i shall end here. goodbye people.

ohh yeaa, last but not least. i do hope that everything would be alright. take care peeps, poops, puups.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

@ 9:23 AM

woo. there's a hole in my leg. really, a hole. haha.

I just hate to be the one to break your heart,
And tear your world apart.
Its makes me feel so bad inside.
Watching you walk away from me.
I don't want to hurt you, but i got no choice.
Its for our own good.
I miss you and I love you, goodbye.

okay, i guessed after all that had happened. i've made up my mind. my decision might be hurtful. i didnt want this to happen either. and im sure, so are you. but like i say, its the situation that controls us now. there's nothing much we can do at this moment. im truly sorry.

woah. i had bad dream last night. or should i say nightmare? however, i think its both. super dissapointing if it were to come true. and i hope it will not. do dreams come true anyway? if it does, i hope this one doesnt. oh please, dont let it happen. ~pray to god.

and now, frankly speaking. i easily got jealous of other couple. seeing them spending their time together. holding hands. feeding drinks. and the girl making the guy wait for thirty minutes, just to get dressed and impressed her sweetheart. ~sigh.
but somehow she get scolded anyway, for being late. :D

here's a few reasons why i treasure this relationship.
i love it when you...
1. piggyback me down the stairs from 7th story to the 1st floor.
2. give me your jersey to change into, when im soaked wet in the rain.
3. let me wear your cap while we were walking in the rain.
4. lend me a listening ear everyday throughout this 5months, listening to my grandmother story.
5. and letting me use your handphone, while you use my spoiled handphone. hehe.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

@ 2:59 PM

they say it takes time to get over serious relationships.
but ive been waiting patiently,
im still stuck on you.
i still picture your face smiling at me.
ive made a big mistake,
and now i've got to face the consequences of my actions.
but until you are back here in my arms,
ill never be able to face the challenges alone.

oh myy. how i wish all that had happened was just dream. why must things end this way? we just have one more week before everything ends. and sadly to say, we can't even make full use of the time given to us. but what can we do? we dont control the situation. its the situation that control us now. we got no choice but to follow it. lets just be patient and wait. im sure the time will come one day whereby we can be the same old us. walking in the rain together, talking on the phone till late at night and doing the things we love to do. after all that had happened, i hope you are not mad at me. but i dont blame you if you do. cos' its all my fault. i realise it. and i hope you will still be the guy for me to share my problems and tell my stories with. and no words could describe how much i love mohamad azhar. (:

Thursday, March 20, 2008

@ 4:12 PM

sometime people make mistake in their lives.
but why do we have to end it this way?

life has not been great these few days. for the past 6 days, my days was filled with tears. however, im grateful to god that everything was back to normal now. well, just to remind the people out there, chances only comes once in life. so, make full use of the chances given.

now that the new term has started, i dont feel like studying anymore. i dont feel the eagerness to focus in class and get my homework done. im not me anymore. during class, i realised that i tend to stare in one place for a few minutes. no, not that i have seen a ghost. but its just that many things were running through my mind right now. and to the people that cared, thanks alot. im really grateful to have people like you around me.