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@ 5:28 PM

great!im thankful that things turn out well.i told him that im attached, and he said, "be happy dengan your guy kay."anyway, we are still friends aper kan? and he messaged me, wishing me good luck for mid-year exam.[:
good luck to you too.heh.

now i don't know.the problems lies with me or you?okey, i think its me.always not keeping my promises to meet you and things like that.she told me that i should just break up with him, and gives reason like "im not good enough for you." should i? maybe not. one obvious reason was .....

so, like usual.my time table after school was to go library and talk-talk-talk.then, got this one very tiny-small boy with his two other friends.sependek-pendek aku pun, aku lagi tinggi dari kau lah chibai! dah adik-adik, nak step mane nye besar jer. here it is, he told us to shut up. tkder adat pe, boleh cakap keep quiet kan. bodoh nye berok! and guessed what we do, we talk even louder.sengaje nak irritate dorang. abeh si berok ni cakap kat kiter "boon lay sucks to the core". i knew he is from Juying Secondary. anyway, who cares.since we sit at the cafe outside the library, we are still allowed to talk what. dengar-dengar situ ade sign no talking per. and the most thing that made us angry was that, he threw his long-john-silver packet food near me and fadhilah. macam kurang ajar kan. otak kau kat jubo per sial?

@ 8:51 PM

absolutely complicated situation.

i think im going to be crazy soon.damn, you lied to me.you told me that you already deleted the picture we took this morning.abeh muke i muke ngantok,u pegi tunjok kawan u. baek ehh, thanks alot ahh. haha.i was late for school today!for the first time okay, im late.what i mean is, for term two only.kalau nak cakap for the past years, tak terkire oii. whos fault is it? its ours kay.stop blaming yourself that im late because of you.we left gek poh at 8.20am.then when we reached school, the guard is so kecoh rabak.very annoying and irritating and whatever else the word that could describe the situation.

its been raining these past days.could not concentrate during malay listening comprehension.POA lesson was great.eventhough my mind was somewhere else,i somehow managed to pay attention most of the times.like normal, after school will be going to the library.doing what? dudok besarkan pantat and berbual merepek.

and to the people yang terase lepas bace paragrah nih, please stop spreading rumours okay.quit telling him that i love other guys.its all fake and so untrue.try being in a relationship, and then tell me what it feels like when people going around telling your partner that you actually love another guy/girl.

``best moments spent with you.

@ 10:55 PM

life is full of obsticles and challenges.so is relationship.problems everywhere.sometimes i wonder when is all this going to stop.we don't quarrel over small things,but we do have difficulty in agreeing on the same thing. sometimes i felt that i expect too much from boyfriend.but other times, i felt that he does not even care for me.

after school today,went to the frontier library with siti and fadhilah.we did nothing much.just sit around and berbual merepek.we talk so loud,like as if we own the place.so,nothing much happens actually.planned to go out this saturday with them.but it was not yet comfirmed.i was get bored being at home nowadays.anyway, i tried doing the chemistry worksheet just now.okey,so you know i know.i could not do even a single question. bodoh kan aku? haha.

weee.[: happy happy.could not wait for tomorrow.okey sabar irni.its only a few hours left.

@ 9:30 PM

since everything that happens yesterday seems to make me happy.well, then i shall say that things totally changes today.

lets start from morning.went to meet him somewhere, quite far away from school.i pulled a long face the moment i saw him.due to some reason okey.im not unreasonable as to be mad at people anyhow-anyhow jer.i did not even look at him.anyway, we were quiet all the way to school.i was somehow quite mad, so i walk as slow as a 80years old nanny walks.the least he could do was to turn around and ask me "asal jalan lambat?". ahh yes, he DID NOT.and when im almost reaching the class, saw hidayah and siti.i walked with them, and acted as though im very happy that morning. enough about this.

school today was middle-rated.will be going to school with hidayah tomorrow.and ohh, i failed my POA test.not suprising right?i knew it.i sometimes felt like changing subject,instead of continuing with POA.but, its too late.so too bad.

ahh sweetheart, i heard alot about you.but when i asked you personally,you seems to deny everything.so, was i hearing rumours from people's mouth or was it the truth?who shall i trust.friends or boyfriend?

nothing more.i just want enough rest,and some time to think.goodbye people.[:

this song was dedicated for you. -
Seandainya kau bilang saja padaku
Apa yang kau rasakan
Tanpa harus kau diam dan diam lagi
Membuatku tak mengerti

Kau datang dan pergi
Seperti sibuk sendiri
Kau suka ku suka
Tapi berputar-putar

Aku bingung sendiri
Melihatmu begini
Kau buat aku jadi pusing
Aku tahu maumu
Aku tahu maksudmu
Aku mau jawaban
Cukup satu jawaban

Kau terlalu lama mengulur waktumu
Aku jadi capek
Jelas kau sudah tahu hatiku
Kau tunggu apa lagi
Kau datang dan pergi
Seperti sibuk sendiri
Kau suka ku suka
Tapi berputar-putar

Aku bingung sendiri
Melihatmu begini
Kau buat aku jadi pusing
Aku tahu maumu
Aku tahu maksudmu
Aku mau jawaban
Cukup satu jawaban

@ 3:17 PM

200408! [:
damn, whats up with the number twenty ehh?

things goes as per normal today.i reached school just the right time.not too late or too early.and before we part, he said "okey bye.good luck ehh.pape mcg." atleast he make me smile early in the morning.

exam started at eight.and just before the exam started, i messaged him, wishing him good luck too.well, he did reply.good enough to make me even happier than i already am.

after school, accompanied fadhilah to Jurong East to buy her school uniform.we laugh about almost every single thing.and there is a molester in the bus.a real one okay!its not im making up any grandmama story.haha.he did touch me okay.mamak oii! haha.

``now that everything is in place, i really hope that history won't repeat itself. (:

@ 5:51 PM

@ 8:36 PM

okey.what shall i post about first?hm, lets talk about last night.i slept around 12plus.chit-chatting with bibik. hearing her stories about life in kampung, jakarta.nice one.she told me alot about her sister.and yes! they two got a completely different personality.basically, she likes doing housework, while her sister like sewing.and not forgetting, she told me about her husband and daughter.she must have been missing them alot i guessed. and i mean it, alot! haha.

school was okey today.ended early, around eleven-ten.went home to change, then met siti under my block. and headed off to pioneer mall to meet amalina and fadhilah.we thought we were late, but fortunately, we managed to make it in time for the sports day which was held at Jurong West Stadium.

and i felt that we are getting close each day, don't you think so? haish. no comment. okey, he did made me jealous last night.he asked me who i liked, and i replied him " haha. suke ajer u.umm.. i suke sape ehh? haha. entah. i pun tak tahu. hee.abeh u suke sape pulak?". and he said this "haha.ad lar.i uke ----.i uke u.. oops!! XD".
ahh damn! haha.and im lost for words, so i said this, "elehh, suke ---- cakap ajer lah.nak hide2 pulak". GEE.

its weird, i don't understand the meaning of feelings. why does it changes everytime?haish.i felt like an idiot. haha.so, here are the description; (: everytime i saw him, i would become nervous and tense.my mind would go blank and i will tend to look away, like as though i never saw him.im such a fool, am i right? [:

@ 5:48 PM

ehh, im damn fucked up with life. i dont know why. but it is just the way it is. haha.

and for god sake, my daily routine is super boring.like only god knows what i mean.waking up early in the morning for school.and then will be going for remedial in the afternoon until 4plus? headed home, and then waited for his message at night? hah.

im craving for more new songs.but my computer just could not download any.by right, i should not be using the computer right now.but since im alone at home, i might as well use it quietly right? haha. somehow, i felt that my blog song suits with my life right now? idk lah eh.

ahh yes! like finally, he message me last night.i dont know if i still had feelings for him.but whatever it is, i'll flush this feeling down the toilet bowl one day, ehh? haha. and to the another him, im sorry if the way i message with you sounded like as if i like you. ahh, i like you before, but not anymore. [=

okey, POA? i knew i would fail it. what the heck, mine did not balance okey. haha. and thank god, malay listening comprehension was cancelled today.

and before i go, this is something for that special someone. :)
Just Because I Dont Talk To You And You Dont Talk To Me. Doesnt Mean I Give Up.
remember that!

@ 3:46 PM

@ 11:31 PM

okey. im damn fucked up than i could ever be. i mean, whats wrong with you? what am i to you? a stupid doll that have no feelings, the one you can step on or kicked around? you simply treat me like a stupid idiot. to think i put so much trust in you, and you treat me like a piece-of-dog-and-cow-shit?

urghh! shall forget about that. and yes, the good thing about me is that, i've move on with life. sincerely and honestly speaking, i have no more feelings for anymore guys. believe it or not. up to you. but its the truth.about my latest ex, i've think hard about it. i made a decision to forget him, and i did. good, isn't it? anyway, whats a three-day relationship compared to me liking a guy for almost eleven-months before, right? [=

and to that boy, dont give up alright? make sure you get her back. im sure she will return to you. trust me, (: cos im a girl. prrftt.bodoh nye irni. why on earth am i encouraging him, when i dont even know him very well. hah.

@ 5:51 PM

i have not been blogging for such a long time. and everything thats happening seems to be too shit. its ruining my life.hah.

ohh yes. i love my hot-shit boy. but everything does not seems to be in the right place. know why? because we just broke up about 1hour ago. damn you. so, here it goes.

me: can i ask you something?
him: what.
me: what you feel about this relationship?
him: if i say i feel nothing?how? hmm..
me: ya.thats how i feel.you think we should part?

and he didn't reply my mcg. another sheer idiocy. haha!

and then i said.. silence means yes? and again he did not reply.
this stupid thing is so FDFDKGJFD!!

hah! i wonder how the hell i fall for him.
060408 ((:

boy, where are you.
im fucked up, so are you.
you say you love me.
you say you care.
you say all kinda shit.
but you aren't really there.

@ 4:29 PM

ahh. yesterday was april fool day.and many people fooled me. but the lamest of all was Mr Bong's. laugh. but it seems funny afterall.but still lame okay. haha.

aiyah. i need money.i need to top up my prepaid lei? haha.card balance $0.01??!!! ass.

malay oral today was not-so-bad. arrghh.. the word oral remind me of... haha! shut up. okay, the oral conversation was about permainan tradisionl melayu. and what did i say; capteh, guli, gasing. thats all.im so dim-witted. wtf. there is still alot more. like, congkak, batu serembat and blablabla. but luckily Mdm Yuana is patience. waiting for me until i get the word that i wanted to say.

after oral, went to pioneer mall with hidayah.went to the candy shop.haha. now the word candy shop remind me of the 50cents song. ahhh; papelarr ehh. we bought alot of sweets. or rather, its her and not me.i bought only one. save it for tomorrow poa class. [:

what else? ohhh. the english oral remediation in the morning was fun. seriously, i'd rather sit in the canteen and have english oral remediation, than sitting at the assembly area reading some books.

talking about book, i think that my library book was overdued though. i had lost the receipt.so i am not sure when it is due. anyone remember? okay, stupid question. when shall i return the books. i dont want to be on another loan. shitt. just when can i start going out. i just need to do alot of things. return the library books, buy my school stationary and etc.

malay CA would be tomorrow. and i started to hate malay. wonder why ehh. entalaa..