you & i

Thursday, May 29, 2008

@ 12:42 PM

alrite. i deleted the last part of my previous post. i shall talk about it again in details when i get the picture.okei. its more easier that way. haish.

today is already thursday, may twenty-nine. time flies real fast. there is physic lesson again tomorrow. and on top of that, we still have to hand in chemistry worksheet by tomorrow. drats, i have not even done a single question. ehh, no. i have done, but only a few. still got a lot more questions to go. shussh. and i can't wait for poa remedial. its still a long way to go, sixteen and twenty of june.

wehee~ i somehow managed to stop loving him already. and it only took me a few days to do so. its hard to believe, i know. and some will think, "it only takes her a few days to get over someone she used to love so much? buang tebiat agaknye budak nih." hoho. but its the fact. now i know all about him and find out his true colours, so i kept telling myself, "its no use getting stuck with him." and yea, i managed to get over him. this time is for real. i don't say it untuk sedapkan hati, hehe.

furthermore, he called me last night. but i guessed he accidently dialled the wrong number. because my phone rings for only about five seconds. and i don't bother to message him asking, "u call eh tadi?". but instead of asking politely, i just felt like saying "pe kau nak call aku?". haha. but i did not do both, so i just let it be. and he don't even call or message me again after that. so yah, thats it. finally, i can get over him now. if i still had feelings for him, i would have message him eventhough i knew he called the wrong person. but i did not. thats a good sign.

yesterday's topic on kelakar seram at ria was damn funny. one thing for sure is that, it makes me and fadhilah laugh like mad in our own room. haha. the DJ wanted guys that have macho voice. but when i heard the voice of the people that called, all like not macho like that ar. oppss, no offence. haha. the first guy that called was azhar. -.- coincidence ar the name. aiyo, hehe. but nevermind. in the end, nobody wins.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

@ 12:02 PM

alot of things happened on tuesday and monday.kei, let me talk from A to Z la ehh. hm, lets start. hek, hek.

26 may 2008 ~
part of four-three went to ShengSiong to buy the things for the barbeque pit. it was overall fun la, very kecoh. especially the four of us, macam orang jakon pun ade. we bought alot of stuffs and the trolley was almost full with barbeque things. here is the picture taken at ShengSiong.

haha. okei, only two picture taken. then, we headed off to alfian's house to put the things that we bought at ShengSiong. so, while waiting outside his house and under the void deck, we took some pictures again.

thats all. after that, we had no idea where else to go, so we sat under the void deck for a while. then finally, everyone decided to go west coast park. it was so memorable. seriously, we all enjoyed ourselves. best banget.

the weather was so hot. look at each of our faces and eyes. we cannot even open our eyes properly. hehe. but overall, we still had fun la. thats it for monday.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

@ 9:24 AM

i got fed up last night and tore off the pages i wrote about him. plus breaking the heart-shape keychain which i wrote his name on it. damn it. ~

there were no issues when we started out.
it was cool, it was everything that love's about.
but something happened,
plus i feel its over now.
[[taken from song lyrics.

bad mood, tired, restless. fuck the mood swings. not feeling okay these few days. got to go somewhere and scream my heart out, but where.

its already the june holiday, no more school pocket money. -.- so many things to buy, yet so little money. aiyo. money, money and more money. [[money sign in both eyes. $$

im getting addicted to food. i even dream of eating almost ten buns in one hour. hek, hek, hek. i shall end here and run to the fridge before anybody else get to eat the food there before me. toodles people!! [:

Friday, May 23, 2008

@ 2:38 PM

friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows. yea, that it so true.

its the end of school term, and the beginning of holidays. how shall i spend my june holidays this year. hm, no more shopping and hanging around. overseas trips is okay, i think. its going to be a draggy holidays for the sec fours and fives. yea, n-level and o-level coming up. got to study, study and study.

woke up as early as 7.20am this morning. due to a knock on the door, again. abang already went to school, mom and dad to the market. i played the computer while waiting for the time to be 9.30am. its getting boring-er, balik-balik check friendster, anu blog. aiyo. anyway, i tried downloading the themes for my handphone, but cannot. too bad, another aiyo. okey then, i bathed and get changed for school. waited for ctikus under my block and headed to school. then met fadhilah outside the school gate. we went to class 3/4 to meet Ms Chua and gave her something. then went to our class and take our report book. im extremely dissapointed in my results, tsktsktsk. bad bad, very bad.

song tittle : Jangan Bilang Tidak
artist : Raffi Ahmad ft. Ayushita

~
ku pernah punya cinta
namun kini ku sedang suka kamu
cintaku dulu telah ku buang jauh
kiniku inginkan mu

however, now i declared myself single. huhhurr.. i assumed its a silent break. and i've got myself a matair-angkat. cheii, takla. actually not, we are just friends. should i add, long-lost-friend? haha. being single also means that its the end of 200408. -.- actually im not quite sure about my decision, but let it be. nevermind.

four-three's pit at east coast park is next tuesday. its sure going to be fun. plus, there's too much memories there, prrft. but i won't care about it, because im very sure that memories with the four-three is going to be the best among all my other memories there. wuhoo.. wide smile. ((: !

and i promised, we are going to act like strangers from now onwards. take it that we don't know each other, and that we have never met before. thats it, [: i don't want but i have to do this, shit! im so sorry.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

@ 7:46 PM

why do we loves the one that ignore us, and ignore the ones that love us. -.-

090508 ; 10.56pm}

" he promised to be there for me 24hours.

" to reply my message as soon as possible.

[and stuff like that]

however, promises are meant to be broken.so whats the big deal.

forget about love. now, friendship is the one of the most important things to me.boys come and go, but bestfriend remains forever. talking about this, i love my [i.f.d.i.s] babes to death. eventhough we get over excited and becomes crazy sometimes. [:

ohh yes. let me tell you about one of my dreams. its kind of scary but, here it is. hm, where shall i start? i remembered going back home at about ten-pm at night. i was alone then, and i got into the same lift with a bangla. somehow, the lift stopped at the fourth-story. there is a few police at that level, and we are told to remain in the lift. not allowed to go out or go to the another level. and the bangla look so pervetic, omg. haha. since im alone and frightened, i acted like i accidently pressed the seventh-story. when it reached, i quickly got out of the lift and ran to my house la. then the bangla followed me from behind and behave like a molester. gosh, i don't believe that i actually dreamt about this kind of thing ehh. anyway, i shouted "help, help! molester!". haha. and he ran off la, wearing his kain and t-shirt. -.-

[its lame la, but i have got nothing else to blog about. aiyo .]

what else. i supposed thats all thats in my mind right now. so, goodbye. and for students, enjoy your holidays! [:

[I] -ina.

[F] -fadh.

[D] -daniaty.

[I] -irni.

[S] -shikin.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

@ 5:59 PM

whats wrong with me? all of a sudden, i felt angry and frustated. i don't even know who's im angry and frustrated at. mood swings i supposed.

and finally, i changed my blogskins. i prefer this compared to the previous one. especially the wordings. my previous blogskins wordings was so dufficult to read.

im clumsy as ever. i dropped a glass of bandung at a food centre yesterday. its sungguh memalukan. but since aku pun tak tahu malu, so i just acted like nothing happened and enjoyed my food. haha. to think about it, i have no iniative huh? lols.

im still wondering why im so ever scared of cats. are they some kind of vampire that goes around and sucks people blood. or threatened humans beings like 'please ... , or you will die.' stupid cat-phobia. they are so adorable, and yet im frightened of them. i remembered the time when i went to a supermarket in malaysia. there is a kitten wandering about. its small, almost like the size of normal textbooks? kononnye kucing tu cute, aku nak gi dekat laa. and suddenly, i could felt the kitten's fur on my leg. terkejut jap. and i remembered hitting the products on the shelf. aiyo, kittens are harmless.

ehh, yah! after writting a few paragraphs. its now then i remembered that, its my

HAPPY ONE MONTHS ANNIVERSARY. [:

or should i say we don't even last for one month. aisey, anything goes la. but one thing for sure, we have not been contacting for almost one week. long ehh, i know. i don't bother to message or call him first. and i could see that he is doing the same thing too. yea, i have come to a conclusion. silent break, that shall be it.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

@ 1:45 PM

its hot and stuffy here. where's the fan? ohh my, aiyerr..

again, im bored. there is a maid called my handphone just now. and she called twice. damn her. dah nampak sah salah number kan. aiyoo, who she thinks i am? a bangla for her to flirt with. and she is so, irritating. called and laugh in a flirt way. wth?? "hello. kamu ana iya?" haha! since aku bored kan, and i did activate my free incoming two days before, so i entertain her anyway. "iya. kenapa?" haha. its stupid, i know. "ana, aku ada ..-i don't understand what she says- ... " then i just keep quiet and made her realise that its the wrong number. haha! padan muker kau. bukan nak buat keje rumah, tahu nak bobal kat tepon jer ehh..

to say the truth, i don't know whats happening to myself. aiya, i was not in a good mood last night. but someone did cheer me up. thanks alot yea. like usual, i like to talk like writting an essay. asking me one question can make me tell you a grandmother story. haha. i don't why, but maybe i just elaborate things too much. and not just that, i will tend to sleep while talking? haha. im night-deaf too.

okei, its proven now. haha. im right in saying that "history repeats itself" and "nothing last forever"? doots.. its been two days. indeed love is blind. but i think im blind-er. stupid, stupid .

to end this post, i shall type out my horoscope for today ;

there is plenty of good energy circulating today.
but it might just intensify what you are already feeling.
so if you are down, watch out.
the good news is that solutions are also on the way.

Friday, May 16, 2008

@ 2:18 PM

damn, few days of not blogging has made me miss blogging. and i hate my life too much. perhaps much more than i hate cockroaches.things are just not too good for me.

i still don't understand why all this are happening. ishk! i hate to say this. but, if he is not letting go. then i shall be the one ending this relationship. am i doing the right thing? i don't want to be making decisions terburu-buru. but afterall, looking at the relationship. we are not moving on, in fact we are stuck in the same situation as before.

yea weee ~ i thought he was freaking mad plus angry at me. but then, am i wrong? i don't know. on tuesday, i saw him. but i acted like normal. i looked at him and entah macam mane, he turned his face and we actually got into eye contact with each other. it was scary, because i don't know wether to smile or not. and so i just stay put, looking at him.what he did really make me go eee-menyampah-nye-dengan-budak-nih. he turned around and looked somewhere else. wth sei? yee, hak phuiik! haha.

but then few days back, we saw each other again. we were walking the opposite direction though. the place was quite squeezy. so i had to pass by beside him. then i heard , "hiie." i turned around to look. and he turned around too, repeating the "hiie" again. i just say hie back and smile la. haha.

the guys i know are very weird. sometimes they will be nice to you, but sometimes they will just treat you like you are a doll with no feelings. haha. guys, guys. whats wrong with them?

this question have been running through my mind since, yesterday? is avoiding people the best way to solve a problem? i knew it sounds stupid. but come to think about it, when you avoid someone they will eventually realise it and would stop running to you. but if you talk to them about the problem, perhaps more problems would occur? i don't know. im still blur about this. but someone told me , "running away from problems is not the best solution." haisshh..

okey, enough about my life. lets talk about studies. or should i say mid-year-exam instead? and see, i already knew it. i already told you, im stupid! thats it, accept it irni. its the fact. lalala.. anyway, i only passed english, mother tongue and combined science? what happen to my poa, maths and combined humanities? don't ask me. haha. but i think i did better. compared to the previous end-of-year result, i only passed mother tongue. haha! so, its not shocking when i said that i almost retain last year? haha. is passing those three subjects enough to get my freedom back for the june holiday? beats me. haha.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

@ 9:10 AM

1. What is your current ringtone?
none. i silent my handphone most of the times.

2. What is your current wallpaper?
please don't ask. haha.

3. Do you own a picture phone?
actually i do, but ..

4. If so, what was the last picture you took?
i don't remember. :

5. Go to your text message inbox and type what the 10th message from the top says:
boleh tahan arh.. "and the rest was too personal". hehe.

6. How many contacts do you have on your phone?
18? lols.

7. Go to your last missed call, who was it?
a friend.

8. Who's on your speed dial number 5?
a friend too. the same person. (:

9 Do you have a voicemail?
nope.

10. How many contacts that start with the letter D do you have:
daniel and dayana. so, 2.

11. Who do you call the most?
nobody. i usually text poeple.

12. How many text messages do you get a month?
do i have the time to count? haha.

13. Can you send pictures?
duh..

14. What are the last 4 digits to your number?
4312

15. Go to your sent texts, what does the eighth one say?
again, its personal. between me and boyfie? haha.

16. What about the 15th?
aha. kenape? ala, fair ape. heh.

17. Who's the last person that you called?
mom. haha. because i don't have the house keys and so im stucked outside.

18. Last person that texted you?
a friend. yet, the same person. (:

19. Last person you added to your address book?
some stupid idiot for some stupid prank. haha.

20. How many minutes are on your plan?
idk?

21. Do you like your phone?
u think? haha.

22. What is it?
i forgot. its so old already. hehe.

23. Wanna give out your number?
try figuring out the first four number. if i picked up, then thats my number. (:

its only 9plus in the morning. and i here i am in front of the computer, already woke up on a no-school-day.if not i should be waking up late. but like usual, the school bell keeps ringing. and there, it goes again. for the 9.40 bell. shussh.. and on top of that, there is a karang guni man with his pee-po-pee.i don't know how to describe the sound laa. hehe.

i hate the afternoon, but i love it when its night. thats when i will be busy doing things. bukan buat ape. what i mean is, thats is the time when people will message me. and yes, i love messaging. so, its fun la. haha. and also, thats when the radio will have rancangan gerek2. and when im tired, i'll be off to dreamland. heh.

and my dream last night was so awkward. i dreamt about a guy, whom i have seen before. he is my friend punye kawan la. he has this i-don't-know-how-to-desribe character. very wierd. i hope he is not like that in real life. prfft.. anyway, i don't even know him. so afterall, why bother. haha.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

@ 2:16 PM

exams is over, atlast! can hooray-hooray, haha! and the results, hmpfft.

had english oral today, and i woke up late. sheesh.. and i have been late three times this term. shit seh. i already aim not to be late anymore. but whatever it is, it already happened. so, no use regretting.

and im getting tired of my blogskin. its so.. fndsjvb!! don't ask me what that means, because i just randomly press the keyboard. haha!

no school tomorrow. felt like watching "what happens in vegas".and then went to buy things, together with fadhilah. but can i even go out? lalala.. maybe we will be going this friday. haha. but like normal, its not yet confirmed. [=

and suddenly, i miss those times i had during the hospital attacthment.it was fun, really. haha. taking care of patients and stuffs like that. im so gonna be a nurse when i grow up. hehe. confident ehh.

and yesterday's topic on kelakar seram, it was on radio ria at eleven pm. kei, back to it. the topic yesterday was gerek. its about orang yang muke tak tahu malu. and at that very moment, somebody come to my mind. hehe.
but nevermind. DJ KC was damn funny. he made me laugh alone inside my room, macam orang gile.

anyway,im bored! will not updating much today. so, till here! hehe.

i miss you!

Monday, May 12, 2008

@ 7:44 AM

wee.. so fast, and its already the 12 of may? anyway,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! (=

i knew its a bit too late. but its okey. had mini celebration yesterday. well, atleast abang bought for mum something. me? i only have $3 inside my wallet. haha!

the funny thing is that, mum asked me on saturday, wether i got $10. because she had no small change la. and i said "muke ni ade $10? $5 pun tak sampai." and kakak's hand went straight to my face. haha! not slap me la, its like just touching but touch in a different way. ala, aku tak tahu explain la! haha.

and i will not be updating about my love life for the time being. i don't know why, but i just don't feel like it. anyway, people asked why i did not put up my archives. hm, simply because there's just too much memories. i do not want to be reminded by each and every one of it.

aiyerr.. and this school bell keeps ringing since 7.20 in the morning.. sheesh..

my sleep last night was gerek. i dreamt about alot of things. firstly, i dreamt that i have gotten my freedom back. sape tak suke seh? haha. but afterall when i woke up, it was just a dream. what to do kan. haha. anyway, i dreamt that i was allowed to go overseas with my friends. if in real life and at this age, jangan harap laa. haha.
thats the first.

okey now, the second dream. i dreamt that i watch countdown, with boyfriend and friends. but somehow in that dream, my boyfriend was a different person. and all the friends was also a different person, people who i had never met before. weird but true. but what to do, its a dream. before you sleep, you don't plan what you are going to dream about. so, it just happen in a way which you don't expect it to happen.

the third dream was, someone gave me a hamster as a present! hehe. but sadly, the person was someone whom i don't know in real life too. what the hell? but i like it though. as in the present, the hamster. nit the person that gave it to me. hehe.

and the fourth dream, finally! i dreamt about someone i knew. here it is. lets just called this person S. okei. my friend in my dream whom i don't know, had called this S to accompany me to pet shop. basically to accompany me buy things for the hamster la. and when we reached the pet shop, there's cat in it. not in a cage, but the cat was let out on its own. sape tak takut sei, aku dah phobia kucing. haha. and when this S saw the cat, he left the shop. hmpfft..

and my dream ended when there's a knock on my door. shuushh..

Sunday, May 11, 2008

@ 12:23 PM

okei. lets start this blogging thing. nothing much happens actually. just some fight last night. what the hell sei? i didn't know that asking one question can lead to such fight? macam what gitu kan.

and i think he gets my hint. really, he has stopped messaging me. as in, he did not message me last night. its not that now i have someone, i wanted to avoid him.i really did not want to go in between him and her. even if now, she has been avoiding him too. shessh.. its all happening at the wrong time.

and now, guy 3 appeared in this frame. or rather in this stupid fairytale-love-story of mine. whatever it is, things are just repeating itself, okei. but it just happens with a different person now. i dont know. but i like the way he treated girls. as in, he respect them. and i can see that.

but whatever it is, to sum it all up. i just wanted to say that im tired of being a doll for guys to forget other girls. thats it. i repeat, im not a doll. i have feelings, but dolls don't. see the difference?

hmpfft. lets talk about something else now. i really had fun talking to sister-in-law. she shared her secondary school life stories. and i thought that only during my times, we have one group of girls hating the other. and know what, dorang punye lagi rabak la. haha. thinking about what the group of girls in her school has done to one another, i think that now we are even lucky because so far, nothing of that sort have happen to any of us before. girls can be evil sometimes, but only when provoked. haha.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

@ 2:39 PM

last night gerek!he message me, "still angry?". hehe. actually aku tak marah pon.i don't take thing to hearts la. things turn out very well though.it was unexpected okei.now i really feel the right way that i should be feeling long ago.but wait, is this temporary or permanent?because you know what, nothing last forever.so, you know what i mean? and history do repeat itself.so, yah. you know i know. ishk! okay whatever. mind me please.

but before all that happens, things was weird.he asked me things like, "so, who are you attached with now?" and what should i answer seh? he made me even more confused than i already am. anyway, i told him this, "hm?kalau belom break, then u la. kalau dah, then takde orang la." and the outcome was satisfying though. smiles! so, i guessed you know the answer already right? hehe.

and yes, i did told myself not to reply that someone's message. he did message me la last night. like usual, normal people would message and asked things like "hie.tengah buat ape?dah makan?" i did not reply. but few minutes later he message again, saying "keila. tak nak layan takpe." what should i say to him sei? i just tell him the truth la. "irni bukan taknak layan.irni cume tak nak go in between --- nan ----." and he told me that they are not close anymore, and he feels that she is avoiding him. so, what? i felt guilty if i were not to reply his message when he needs someone to talk to, because thats what he told me. but on the other hand, i felt guilty too for replying because , im attached? serba salah ehh. wtf?!

anyway, he is discharged from hospital today. alhamdulillah. and today, i shall be staying at home. boredom though. cousins will be coming in the afternoon. i think? im not sure either. if only i could go out, then i would be accompanying my "friend" to woodlands library? sounds far ehh. or go watch movie with dearest. its been such a long time since i met him. when will be the next? maybe monday, or maybe after marking day. how long is that? like almost decades from now? okei, penipu.

and i so can't wait for the seventeen of may. tak sabar oii! how i wish that if i close my eyes now and open it in two seconds, it will be on the seventeen already. but nevermind, patience paid off ehh. jadi, sabar ajer la.

Friday, May 9, 2008

@ 1:34 PM

And when you look at me,
I hope you remember all the smiles.
All the kisses, whispers and laughs.
I hope you remember what we had.
I hope it kills you,
To see I dont need you.
But most of all,
I want you to remember,
You are the one who left.
`` 200408.

i guessed its the end. broke up? hmpfft. not sure. im totally confused! damndamn.

and to that certain someone,im not sure if im doing the right thing. we already have someone else in our heart, but we are still contacting each other? know what i mean. we are like each other's spare tyre. when he does not contact me, and when she does not contact you. then we will go to each other for companion. but when i have him with me, and you have her by your side, we would ignore each other and acted like as if we had never met before? anyway kan, i have decided to stop all this things. i promise myself that from now onwards, i will not reply your message ever again. not until everything is clear and the situation has becomes less complicated.

and im not perfect, i clearly understand that.i know the way i behave really sucks.i don't contact you for days, and sometimes i don't even look at you when i sees you.but that doesn't mean that i dont care.because for all i know, i really love you.let me go for all you want though, cos i simply can't be bothered being in this situation. better to lose someone and still have them as friend, rather than to have that someone and acted like strangers.

why did i have to walk that route to school every morning?
if i had not walk there, then we would not bump into each other.
if we had not bump into each other, then you won't have smile at me.
if you had not smile at me, then i won't be captivated by your smile.
if i had not been captivated by your smile, then i would not have message you.
but now that i have message you, i have gotten myself into a big mess.
so afterall, my biggest mistake was taking that route to school,
but not for loving you.

it simply means i was bored, so i do this. its kind of lame, but nevermind. haha!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

@ 3:11 PM

ishk! merepek seh.damn the misunderstanding lah.hmpfft.he must be mad at me now,i guessed.you can choose to believe your friend or me, and im not forcing you to believe me, okay?anyway,he is your friend aper kan? in the first place, i dont even know how your friend get my number?stupid idiot.

and to that particular boy, i know you loved her. and i also know that you know i love him very much.but why do we act like as if we still like each other ehh? don't him find it strange? because i do. ahh kay kay, whatever. better to go with the flow right? whatever comes, just go with it.but if it doesnt, then let it be.

my current mood is : bored. nothing to do, so decided to watch movie.but all the stories are like so old already.so decided to watch 27 dresses. mak oii, cerite dah lame sei! but never mind la. atleast i got something to do right? rather than to sit and stare at the wall. like as if i will benefit anything by staring at the plain wall. kan?

and yea, finally! its the last paper next week. and i have come to the end of the mid-year exam. haha! but must not be too happy. pathetic results are waiting for me, and the time for my tears to fall will be coming soon. just be ready to break down and become the no-hope-for-studies type of girl again. haha!

but atleast someone gives me some encouraging words to continue and achieve for better grades.well, he told me that eventhough i failed last year and that i nearly retain, still he believes that i can do better this year. great friend, isnt he? and on top of that, im truly sorry about the state of his life right now. okey, perhaps if you know this person then you will know what i mean by saying that. haha!

i seriously don't know what else i should do. hmpfft. message still not reply, what seh! but why do i still bother when he did not reply my message? didn't i say go with the flow earlier? ahh! i just say it untuk sedapkan hati aku, but i know i cant. thats it!

Monday, May 5, 2008

@ 2:17 PM

dear diary, where is him?

damn it seh. okay, irni is so stupid.i went out of my room without hiding my mickey mouse notebook!and guessed what, mum came into my room to put back my eyeliner.no wonder she is quite long inside my room. know what? my mickey mouse notebook was on top of my study table, and it was on the page where i write all about him. stupid seh!

few days back, i was editing my picture on the computer.then mum came and says "kau dah ade mataer baru kan?" haha. mampos aku.since im lost for words, i said "aper jer." and she said this, "aper jer, aper jer.kau ingat mama tak tahu ehh." haha! alaa, gasak lah ehh. sape tak pernah ade matair, betol tak?

lets talk about exams.even before getting the results, i already knew that im going to fail combined science and combined humanities. chemistry aku rabak. only god knows how many times i have yawned throughout the chemistry paper.and obviously, i did badly for maths paper two. what else? POA would be tomorrow and next week. no confidence that i would pass it. senang kate, i have no more hope in studies.

and finally seh! he messaged me last night. haha! after three days "menghilangkan diri". hmpfft.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

@ 12:43 PM

i need space to breathe!i just want to get out of this complicated situation now.any prince charming out there that can save me and take me away to a far far away land?haha!

and i need to top up my prepaid soon! i cant take it anymore. how can i live with a value of one-cents in my handphone? haha. nak message pun susah. where the hell can i find $18 to top up my prepaid ehh? perhaps i should rob a bank instead. hah!

think i got to start revising for chemistry now kan? okeyla. bye people.

dia untukku, bukan untukmu.

dia milikku, bukan milikmu.

pergilah kamu, jangan kau ganggu.

biarkan aku mendekatinya.

kamu tak akan mungkin mendapatkannya.

karena dia berikan aku petanda juga.

janganlah kamu banyak bermimpi.

yea, thats right! you remember that.

Friday, May 2, 2008

@ 11:15 PM

nine hours have passed, and not even a single message from you. shusshh.. *snap forehead*

im getting addicted to indonesian love songs.not dangdut anymore ehh. fadh, ingat tuu. haha. im no longer a dangdut-girl.so when we grow up, we will only be going for clubbing kay. pasal kawan kau nih dah tak jadi bukak club dangdut. haha! lamelame.

and as you know, this week is the mid-year exam week.yesyes, i have to pass all my subjects in order to gain back my freedom and trust from my parents.afterall, serve me right for my wrong-doing.i deserve it laa ehh.based on what i think, i have gotten my freedom back.not as much as last time.but to me, its still enough for the moment.

and lastly, im not going to care anymore about the things accouring around me now.never mind laa ehh.whatever happens, let it be.anyway, why bother when we don't even try to do anything about it. betol tak? might as well give up and call it the end, right? ppfttt..

Thursday, May 1, 2008

@ 7:26 PM

``it reminds me of those times we had. (29.04.08)
heck.somehow i can sense that history is going to repeat itself.please dont.

social studies and maths paper 1 tomorrow.i have been studying for social studies since morning, and now i felt that i dont have enough time for maths revision.the teacher dont even bother though, as much as she thinks that we dont bother about her teaching.she told us, "since you people wants to be like this, then we shall see your tears when you get your N-level results." i dont blame her for saying that, hah.

POA lesson was not good, only for me i think.Mr Chua called me several times to answer questions.why me and not fadhilah ehh?i thought we both laugh together.anyway, fadhilah helped me to answer the questions though. thanks to her for that.anyway, it goes on until he get irritated i think.and my laughters made him asked me "why are you so happy today ahh?you just meet someone new in your life.or you just get a new boyfriend?" then he smiled and say, "anyway, its not the time for it yet." laughlaugh.and since im lazy to do the work he asked us to do, i started a conversation with him.

Me - cher, fadhilah want to ask you something.
Mr Chua - yah, which question is it? where's the paper?
Me - no, not this question.
Mr Chua - then?
Fadhilah - irni asked your wife teach this school also ahh?
Me - no.fadhilah asked me to ask you.

hah! and he still can entertain us ehh. die tak marah pun and tak suroh kite buat tu worksheet. best lahh.haha.
and entah macam mane, he said that "yah, i know im cute." hahh..!

p/s: its been hard for me to forget you.but just as i have moved on with life, you came back and i fall for you again.